How can we be both better at listening, and better at talking to each other?


For many people, talking about their mental health is much easier said than done, despite research showing that simply opening up to others can be hugely beneficial to our wellbeing.


There are many reasons why people don’t speak about their mental health. Although the stigma is continuing to be pushed out of society, it still very much lingers. The fear of the response, the pressure of burdening others, the feeling of shame or embarrassment, or it simply not being the ‘right’ time to talk can all contribute to withholding feelings and emotions.


And while they may seem like valid reasons to someone suffering from a mental health issue, the likelihood is that those around you — whether it be friends, family, colleagues, or a third party — don’t care one bit about any of those and would much rather that person feels comfortable enough to open up in times of difficulty.


Here are five tips to become more comfortable at approaching mental health:


Be Warm Yet Direct | Simply checking in with someone to see how they’re feeling can go a long way. Set some time aside, go somewhere a little more private, and encourage them to open up about how they’re feeling, If they’re not comfortable talking with you though, ask if they’ve got a close friend they can talk to, suggest visiting the doctor, or if the problem is quite serious, pass on the number of the Samaritans. You could also ask the person if it’ll be okay for you to check in again in a few days’ time to see how they’re getting on.


Ask Twice | If a friend or someone you know is quieter than normal, or not behaving as you’ve come to expect, stop and take just five minutes to see if they’re okay. Some people will pretend to be okay but really are crumbling inside. A common response is ‘I’m fine’, but research suggests that over three-quarters of us would tell friends, family and work colleagues that they are fine when they’re not. Time to Change is asking everyone to ask twice if they think someone may be experiencing a mental health problem.


Direct to Other Support | Signposting to other services both in and out of the workplace can promote better mental health. Some people might want to access support privately with a confidential third party (such as an Employee Wellbeing Service), which according to Anum (2018) supports almost 75% of employees with mental health problems. Having reminders about available signposting services is vital too and a first line of defence for supporting staff when they need it. This can include anything from posters, leaflets, handouts and numbers on company intranets, break-out rooms and the canteen.


Make Some Time for a Podcast | The podcast ‘Men and Mental Health’ by the Mental Health Foundation is a series hosted by four men who talk openly about mental health. It’s suitable for any gender and offers some brilliant advice about normalising mental health discussions for men. 3 in 4 suicides are male and 1 in 4 men suffer from stress, so it’s key that we all look out for the men in our lives.


Be Creative! | Emotional wellbeing is key for young people to learn and thrive, with research suggesting that 1 in 10 children and young people have a mental health condition. Being creative can encourage children and young people to start talking about what’s going on in their everyday lives, especially when feeling a bit blue. Using creativity, even if it’s sitting with a colouring book, can help to create an environment which encourages people to be open, be themselves, be at ease sharing how they’re feeling, and talk if something is troubling them. Feeling connected can create safety, and we all have the innate need to feel safe.


If you are personally experiencing any issues, or you suspect someone you know is struggling, choose someone you trust to confide in. No one will judge you or think differently about you, and your chosen individual or organisation will have the time to listen and help.



Other resources and helplines available for you to talk to someone confidentially are below:

Find support that’s right for you.
The Hub of Hope is the UK’s leading mental health support database.

Confidential support for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair.
Phone: 116 123 (free 24-hour helpline)

Helping bereaved people find support and wellbeing.
Free Grief chat is available.

CALM is the Campaign Against Living Miserably, for men aged 15 to 35.
Phone: 0800 58 58 58 (daily, 5pm to midnight)

Men’s Health Forum
24/7 stress support for men by text, chat and email.

Mental Health Foundation
Provides information and support for anyone with mental health problems or learning disabilities.

Bereavement help and support
NHS advice on dealing with bereavement, grief and loss
Cruse Bereavement Support to learn more about the grieving process
National Bereavement Service for ways to manage grief
The Good Grief Trust  for support if you are newly bereaved

Promotes the views and needs of people with mental health problems.
Specific Support and Self-care for Grief – Mind
Phone: 0300 123 3393 (Monday to Friday, 9am to 6pm)

Emotional support, information and guidance for people affected by mental illness, their families and carers.
SANEline: 0300 304 7000 (daily, 4.30pm to 10.30pm)
Textcare: comfort and care via text message, sent when the person needs it most:


If you liked this post, found it helpful and think someone you know would appreciate it, please do share with your family, friends and colleagues! Don’t forget also to give the Paycare team a follow on Twitter @MyPaycare and Facebook 😊


Remember, if you’re a Paycare Policyholder and need to share your problems with a friendly voice, please make use of our confidential Counselling Helpline 😊